The Livewire Guide to Going, Being and Staying Veggie

Juliet Gellatley

Chapter 14 – Meat is Macho

‘There’s no hope for my dad!’ is the most common complaint from young would-be veggies. When trying to go veggie, it’s nearly always dads who are the most difficult, the least understanding and the ones who object the loudest. After you’ve gone veggie you often find out that mums are more willing to listen to the arguments, and sometimes become veggie themselves.

If mums do complain, it’s more often because they’re worried about the inconvenience and not knowing what to cook. But too many dads seem unmoved by the plight of animals, and so for giving up meat – you must be joking! So why the difference?

There’s an old saying which you sometimes hear parents repeating to their little boys when they’ve hurt themselves; ‘Big boys don’t cry!’ Given half a chance, they certainly do. Given half a chance, they certainly do. So is it that men and women are made differently or it is because they have been taught to behave the way they do?

Right from the time they’re born, some boys are encouraged to be macho by their parents. You don’t hear grown ups saying to little girls, ‘Who’s a big strong girl then?’ or, ‘Who’s my little soldier?’ And as boys get older, the same sort of macho expectations continue.

Just think of the names used to describe boys who don’t seem to be macho enough – weed, cissy and some even nastier. They’re often used when a boy hasn’t been ‘tough enough’ or has shown that he’s frightened. Sometimes it’s even because a boy has shown he cares about something.

As boys grow up there are other expectations that describe the way they’re supposed to act – stiff upper lip, not letting the side down, not being ‘hen pecked’. When all these sayings and expressions are put together over a person’s lifetime, they become a constant drip, drip ,drip of pressure telling men how to behave.

Men, according to these old-fashioned messages, must hide their feelings and emotions and not show what they really think. If you believe this baloney then being a man means being hard and un emotional. It means rejecting things like compassion and concern as ‘soft’ and it means never showing that you care.

Of course not all men are like this. There are male vegans, vegetarians and animal rights activists who are the opposite of this unfeeling image. I’ve spoken to some who used to fit this macho image but who eventually rejected it. One friend of mine used to shoot birds, rabbits and other wildlife. He says that every time he looked at the creatures he’d killed, he felt guilty. He felt particularly bad when he had only injured something and it had escaped, probably to die alone and in pain. That feeling of guilt worried him.

His real concern, however, was that he saw his feelings as a sign of weakness – not very manly. He felt sure that if he carried on shooting and killing things, one day he’d be able to do it without the worrying, nagging sense of being cruel. Then at last he would be just like all the other hunters he knew. Of course he didn’t really know how they felt because, just like him, they never expressed their feelings. It wasn’t until another bloke said to him that it was perfectly okay not to want to kill animals that he was able to admit to himself that he didn’t like hunting.

The answer was simple – he didn’t go shooting again and he stopped eating meat so no one else had to kill animals for him.

Most dads it seems, even if they’ve never picked up a shotgun in their lives, have some of this confusion in them. Part of the answer might be somewhere way back in our history.

Early humans lived as hunter-gatherers but hunting wasn’t just a way of providing extra food. In fact hunting was often a very poor and inefficient way of feeding the family. Instead, killing animals became tied up with masculinity and being physically brave. In the Masai tribe in East Africa, for instance, a young man wasn’t considered a full warrior until he’d killed a lion all by himself.

The real business of providing food usually fell to women, who gathered fruits, berries, nuts and seeds. In other words, they were the ones who did most of the work. (Not a lot changes, does it?) It seems that hunting was the modern equivalent of all the boys getting together in the pub or going to a football match. The same attitude seems to have carried on right up until today.

There is another reason why more men eat meat than women, and come out every time I talk to group of young blokes. They really think that eating meat, particularly red meat, helps to build their muscles. Many of them believe that without it they will be puny and physically weak. Of course the elephant, rhinoceros and gorilla are great examples of what happens if you eat only veggie food.

All this might account for why there are twice as many vegetarian women than men and why women are often belittled for it. If you’re a vegetarian or vegan young woman then be prepared for the following insults – including from some dads. It’s only because you’re female – therefore over-emotional. You’re not being rational – which is another way of saying that caring is wrong. It’s because you’re impressionable – in other words a bit soft. You don’t know the facts – because science is for men. What they’re really saying is that you’re not behaving like a ‘sensible’ (unemotional), ‘clear thinking’ (unfeeling) man! Now, did you ever need a better reason to go or stay veggie?

Vegetarianism is for wimps?
No Way!

Martina Navratilova, legendary tennis champion with 166 titles and nine times Wimbledon winner – vegetarian.

Robert Millar, world-class cyclist and winner at the Tour of Britain, fourth in the Tour de France, and second at the Tours of France, Spain, Italy and Switzerland – vegetarian.

Ed Moses, twice gold medallist at the Olympics for 400m hurdles – vegetarian.

Sorya Bonall, world-champion ice skater – vegan.

Mr Muscle Man himself – Dave Scott, six times winner of the Ironman Triathalon of the USA – vegetarian.

Sally Hibberd, UK Mountain Bike champion – vegetarian.

Judy Leden, European and world hang-gliding champion – vegetarian.

Carl Lewis, world-class sprinter – vegan.